Take a break

Making eye contact with strangers was always hard for me. Does he see how handsome he is? Afraid that someone will hit me if I stare too long, quietly question where they got their shoes or whether it will rain today.

There is beauty in pondering and the art of the flirt. I am terrible at doing that intentionally, I can't force it.

Yesterday there was a thunder storm, I was too drunk to pay it mind but the break up of hot weather is good. Change is good.

As of now I am negative fifty in the bank, all my fault obviously. A credit card payment came through when I didn't have enough . 

I don't get paid until May 3rd so the struggle, the anticipation of that check is making me hungry again. I have food, not a lot just enough to get experimental .

It sucks, it's balls but its life.

At least work has free coffee, tea, soda and juice. Which I will be living off of until then.

I refuse to take money unless it's for a commission . 

So that's my struggle, counting down the days , creating, failing and trying again.