Last night I had a very vivid dream and mind you it might of had something to do with Fear The Walking dead episode the night previous, however, In the dream I was sobbing I was wrapping paper towels around a pipe and talking about the fact that even if it was still leaking it was useful. It's fixable and that it's still important. I know that is a bit tacky to still believe in dream interpretation but as I was looking this up I see that dreaming is a way for most of us to be able to express feelings we've repressed, over the course of the last three weeks I have been unable to supress my unhappiness with my own attitude. Adjusting to this new schedule has been a challenge for me with the mental and especially physically. What I haven't talk about is the fact that my body is very ..well adjusted Adjusted to a particular schedule and when I shifted that to an hour earlier i'm not going to lie it fucked me up. Around 1-2pm I get woefully sleepy, I know i've made alot of little mistakes at work and I cannot help but feel as though i'm more irritating then ever I feel like the problem child in math class.
Anyhow, to dream of fixing pipes however was another thing. In dreaming this is not always literal, Zipping in and out of the other window I see something that reflects so heavily within myself. The leaking of water means the release of emotions or the loss of power. Prior to transferring I was a lead trainer, I was on my way to becoming a lead and I gave that up willingly for a higher title and paycheck. I don't regret the transition but I do miss my teammates. The other supervisor at my current job that I really did think was super nice is gone and i'm sort of left afraid to ask questions and feel like a burden.
I have felt like a burden.
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