I took a day off of work.

I couldn't do it this morning.
I didn't WANT to do it this morning.

I felt this paralyzing feeling as I stared at the heap of clothing on the floor dreading the walk to the bus and ultimately the screeching, kazoo honking noises of Seattle traffic.

I am privileged in a way where the rules of my job are simply show up, well. In any case as a trainer to set them up for success and I have and in the throws of it completely thrown off of my goals as an Artist. I haven't drawn really in days, nothing sincerely and certainly no finished pieces.

So today this morning as I played my sitcoms I had a moment of clarity.
"I'm not going in today "  I texted Jamie and she conceded, She wanted to take a day off for Art as well.

I sit here listening to Moonlight Sonata and flipping through the pages of my planner at all the plans I had made, the scheduling I had done for Art that never came to fruition so maybe this blog is another distraction but so far I now have the most up to date 3D software.

Let me just start by saying it has been a comedy of errors since this morning.. None of my software packages are up to date and when I at least tried to open up photoshop to draw while the installations were occurring my pen was dead.

FINE.

I'll do a massive reprint of my business cards and keep my chin up, if anything today was a moment to catch up on some rest and Art that i've been neglecting. I haven't been able to truly focus on the form or fix my proportions as I promised Matt and Emily.

I've worked hard enough to have a life that I don't need a vacation from, I work as a QA tester, I can wear what I please, eat what I want and now I sort of oversee the new hires but I am still now where I want to be. I was inspired by a friend who began to take her Art career with the sincerity and respect it deserved and I think it's time for me to do much of the same and if the weather holds up perhaps I'll go somewhere and paint like i've been aching to do for a while. Here in the PNW however, doing anything outside is gambling.

House always wins.